Spread the love

Love. What is it? Do most of us really know what it is? If God is Love, as we are all taught in church, then is it love that we are really searching for? Not God? These questions have been lingering in my mind for several weeks now. Laying awake at night asking myself these questions, to which I don’t have answers to. Krishnamurti talks about this frequently in the current book I am reading “Think on these things”. He writes about what it is not and what it is

Love it not emotional, it is not sentimental, it is not something we posses. When we attach these things to love, it changes the love into something that isn’t love at all.  Things such as jealousy, fear, possessiveness(he or she is mine, physically or legally), or expecting something in return for your love. Imagine it like tying all of these things to you and dragging them behind you. Over time they deteriorate, they begin to feel like baggage, unnecessary weight you are hauling around, making you tired and annoyed. How often has this happened to you? You love someone, and then suddenly you don’t. It is all these other things we attach to it, that aren’t love. Over time these things, the jealousy, the fear, they whittle love down to nothing, and thus the love disappears.

Love, real love brings compassion, mercy, and generosity freely and abundantly. Love cannot be only towards one person, it must be towards all.  If you only give love to one person, then do you really know love, or do you simply want something in return for your love? For example, if you love your partner, mother, father, etc. but show hatred towards a neighbor, colleague, or a stranger, do you really understand love? I would say not entirely, you need a new and deeper understanding.

A religious man who shows love for his God, he prays fervently, but for what? For his prayer to be answered. He is looking for something in return, for his God to show mercy or compassion for his situation. And what if his prayer is not answered, will his devotion remain? Maybe yes, but over time it will likely fade. In my experience it is those in religion that know love the least. They will show love towards other Christians, but harsh judgment towards those of another religion, background or belief.

Love  should not be singular, it should be love of everything.  The people around you and the world around you. If you truly understand love, then how can you only love one thing, and not love the entirety of the world? What would happen if humanity really learned to love? Not love based on status or circumstance, not based on how it might benefit us, or our shared beliefs, but love that expects nothing in return?  Love that gives and does not take.

Part of this journey is self discovery, learning about my own mind. Piecing apart the things I have always known, discovering the unknown, and on my own figuring out what all that means, not based on what I was taught, or how I was conditioned to think. I ask myself, what would happen in my life, if I came to a new understanding of love? I love and have loved, and in the same time shown hatred, dislike, or lack of respect towards another.  So I question my understanding of love. I have no singular solution, other than begin with myself. I am not in control of the the world, but I am in control how the world impacts me, and in return my impact on the world. 

I would like to get some reader feedback on this, although we do not yet have a large audience, I am hoping there is someone out there that reads this and feels compelled to comment or share some thoughts.

Spread the love


  1. Love to Love. I believe, Love is universal to everything Mother nature, The Cosmos and Humans. How could anyone ever be mad at anyone who loves life itself? When you love everything that comes in contact with you that energy is reciprocated, whether it is conceded or not. I absolutely agree, that people often get the perception of love wrong, maybe because that is what they were taught or associate love with. To learn to love one must first love themself. In retrospect how could someone not love life honestly? Comprehend the expanse of the earth, Intellectually we stand on an islet in the midst of an illimitable ocean of inexplicability, Life is so short why waste it on hating and not loving everything?

    1. Author

      That is the exact problem we are facing, with love, as with many things, and that is what we are taught, what society would have us believe. So many of us fall right into that, and thus we are in a never ending loop of disappointment. If we put away what the world says, and focus on what is universally true then there is hope in a better understanding of love.

      Thank you for commenting.

  2. It warms my heart to hear that people such as yourself are reading the teachings of J Krishnamurti. It takes a lifetime to come to self knowledge and as JK says: “The means is the end.” If people could only realize that the essence of the teachings are echoed by all the great teachers: Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Lao Tzu…we could live together with much more harmony.

    1. Author

      It took a long time before stumbling across J. Krishnamurti, although he has been around my whole life. I saw his books lying around my house since the earliest of my memories. Self knowledge is never ending, I think because we are always changing, going through different phases in our lives, and being prompted by the universe to grow. What a wonderful world we would be living in, if people were able to embrace the essence of all of our great teachers without attaching religion to it. They are all wise, and all teach of the great importance of love, that cannot be a mistake.

      Thank you for commenting! It is wonderful to know there are people out there reading!

  3. I feel that love is multifaceted and takes a different form in different situations or relationships. How it’s expressed or how it’s felt is unique to circumstance. Phileo love is most commonly associated with friends, or some family members, and its expression and reception is significantly different, than Eros or Agape love. When an aunt or uncle expresses Phileo love, or says “I love you,” its meant and felt different than when a spouse or significant other expresses their love. A spouse or significant other expresses their love via Eros love. It’s a sexual, or erotic love within the confines of a relationship. Although both may be expressed with an “I love you” it’s felt entirely different internally. Whereas Agape love, is a sacrificial love, used rarely and is used to express a love of God. A love that is not easily comprehended by the human mind. It’s an unconditional love on a Godly level and not used in personal relationships.

    People are able to express certain types of love (Agape, Eros, Phileo) better than others, just as they’re able to receive and feel them in different ratios. Some Christians may have a strong spiritual Agape love with God, and be very poor at the expression of compassion via Phileo love. Much the same, you may have someone who excels in Phileo love, and their compassion is seen and felt easily, without the presence of an Agape love for God. Each person will have a unique ability to Love, in their own way. I think this is expressed in “The 5 love languages.” Everyone expresses and feels love differently. It’s possible to express love in your own “language” and unless that person is compatible with your language, may not feel or see it. It doesn’t mean that person is loveless, or incapable of expressing love. It’s just expressed differently. I think the unique expression of love is what makes it so fulfilling.

    1. Author

      Well put! I have heard of the “The 5 Love languages” although I have never read it, we all do have our unique way in which we show love, and ways in which we need to receive love. It could be quality time, acts of service, gifts, etc. And I agree there are different types of love, family, significant other, etc. To know and really understand love, would be to love everything, and therefore excel in all types of love as you have explained. So whether its Phileo, Eros, or Agape, you exhibit all. I think it is our inability to do this that hinders us(our world) in a way, myself included. And this does not mean we are loveless by any means, it means there is room to grow….room to love more.
      Understanding each persons unique expression of love is fulfilling, after all just because someone may not love you the way you expect them to, does not mean they don’t love you with all they have. That is loving without expectations, when you do that, it opens you up to the deepest kind of love.

      I really enjoyed reading your comment! Thank you.

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