Last night I had a sleepless night. My mind was racing. Sleepless nights are not pleasurable, however, I have found that when this happens, my mind is working through something, giving me insights. Now, I embrace these nights and listen to what is happening in my mind. I woke up knowing I needed to share this.
Personal and Spiritual Growth
Part of my journey in moving to the EU has been my personal and spiritual growth. This was a major reason for making this move. It was a need to discover more, discover my life, who I am, outside of my profession. My profession had become so consuming I spent most of my time either working or thinking about working. To be honest, I spent the past 2 plus years in a mixed state. Part happy with an alternative lifestyle, one that created more freedom from the mundane 9-5 job. The other part of me was swimming in guilt and shame for wrongdoings in my not so distant past. It was not until coming to Portugal that I was ready to deal with it. I needed to change; I needed to grow and move past this.
Mind & Body
It began with creating a daily routine of yoga and meditation and trying to spend some time reading each day instead of vegging out watching Netflix. Doing exercise in the morning was hard for me. It always felt like a task with a goal to lose weight. I have never had a positive body image or a healthy relationship with food. Far too often I compared myself to others, even my sister with her tall, slender frame. This time, my exercise was about healing. I can’t say what prompted this, but it felt natural. This was over 2 months ago now and I have not skipped one day, not one. I have never done that. Then, two weeks ago, I felt a prompting to change my diet. Again, my goal was not to lose weight, but this is what my body was telling me. Doing yoga and daily meditations has connected me with my body.
Food for the soul and spirit
I titled this post Soul Food because that is what I am doing; I am feeding my soul and nurturing my spirit. During my meditations I was being led to change my diet. For the first time I don’t feel like I am on a diet, I don’t feel like I can’t eat certain foods. I eat what my body tells me to eat. This has lead me to a predominantly vegan diet, although I still eat feta cheese, eggs and honey. I don’t eat any refined sugars. My diet is not entirely plant based, however, I am listening to my body, not following a diet. Since eating this way, it has deepened my connection with myself and my body. My meditations are more connected and meaningful, filled with insights that seem to flow more and more. My body feels magnificent, I feel great. I am not on a diet; I am in tune with my body and feeding it based on intuition.
Thank your body – It’s amazing!
To add to this, I started a daily practice after yoga, while in savasana,to thank my body. I spent many years hating my body, even when I was thin, I didn’t feel confident in my body, and when I was thin, it was because I was not feeding my body how I should. We all have beautiful bodies and come in unique shapes and sizes. The only important factor is health. Perhaps I am not meant for a super slender frame. Our bodies are amazing, they are working nonstop for us. They constantly give to us as we degrade them and hate on them. So instead, I thanked my body. Thanked it for all that it does for me, working 24-7 for my good. This practice, mixed with yoga and meditation, is changing my life. At 39, I can finally say, I love myself.
I have only discovered this by stepping outside the box and leaving my old life behind. I would not have these revelations if I continued as I was. I spent the better half of my life not understanding who I am. It took me close to 3 years to let go, forgive myself and love myself. My journey has only just begun, it will take a long time to understand myself fully.
I would love to hear your comments, your experiences, and your struggles and triumphs. We are all beautiful beings, perfectly made, uniquely crafted. There is only one you. You need not to compare yourself with anyone else.